I’ve been listening to lovelytheband’s song, “Broken,” and reflecting on what it means to be broken.
After my marriage fell apart (I’ll tell you that story some day when we know each other better), my instinct was to say that I shattered into a million pieces. I was broken. But now I have a different perspective.
Yes, my heart broke. But my ex and the experience didn’t break me. Certainly there were cracks in my soul, in my life, but here’s an interesting way to look at it:
The Japanese have a practice called kintsugi, which means “golden joinery.” Whenever a piece of ceramic or pottery breaks, the artist binds it back together with gold-colored resin. The resulting piece is better and more beautiful than the original.
So I like to think of my life and my heart in this way. Yes, pieces shattered, but I am not broken. I’m all the better because what has resulted from that heartbreak is a million times better than where I was before.
My life has become enriched in so many ways I couldn’t have foreseen during my marriage. I have an unbelievable group of friends who support and feed off of my energy. I’ve started creating (hello? this blog is part of that!) and playing in ways I haven’t since high school when I took art.
I am living the life I was supposed to.
And I don’t regret being with the wrong guy for 17 years. Because he wasn’t the wrong guy for that time period. I am grateful to him and the experience of being with him for many reasons, not the least of which is my amazing son.
So can we get away from the idea that we’re broken because of horrible experiences and start appreciating how those experiences made us stronger and better? I think we should.