Oh, goodie. Fodder to write about.
I met…we’ll call him Stanley…on a dating site a few weeks ago. Right away, the conversation flowed.
Our first date was the stuff of rom coms. We met in a bookstore. Picked out three books that defined us, then discussed. Had really bad food at the restaurant next door. Made out in the car.
I’ll spare you the details of the following week, but suffice it to say: he told me what I wanted to hear. And I believed him.
It wasn’t until I added everything up that I realized: this man was a bullshitter and a liar. Part of me–the part that really wants a boyfriend–whined that I could totally put up with these tiny, insignificant flaws. That wouldn’t it be better to have someone?
But the other part–the stronger part–knew that I was better than the way he was treating me. That I didn’t like the person I was when he made me wait for hours before finally showing up for our date, or when he put me at the very end of a very long list of priorities. Or when he lied to me.
And he did lie. I can’t prove all the lies, but he had some pretty tall tales about his past accomplishments. Maybe they were all true, but in my heart, I know at least some weren’t.
When he left, I felt sad. Sad to have wasted time yet again on a man that didn’t deserve me. Sad that I was duped by yet another man whispering sweet nothings in my ear. My biggest fear is being naive and vulnerable, especially given how much my ex-husband lied to me.
But then…I looked at it differently. From early on, I knew something wasn’t right. Sure, I buried it because it was nice to have someone. But then I just couldn’t take it. I knew that being alone was a million times better than constantly trying to decipher what was genuine and what was fake.
My bullshit detector worked! I’d feared it was broken, since I’d not seen so much in my marriage. But here it was, helping me out of a potentially rotten relationship before it got too far! Hooray!
Now I’m smiling. Now I feel good. My intuition has not failed me.