An American in Italy: The Best of Both Worlds

Being an American expat living in Italy, I have a unique situation. I will never fully fit in here in Italy...nor will I ever fit in back in America.

Expats live with a foot in two countries.

I used to see this as a negative, but I'm starting to see the benefits.

Less American Every Day

Okay, yes, I am American and I always will be. I spent 43 years living there, and my experiences and the American culture are in my blood. And yet, the longer I am an American in Italy, the further away my former culture feels.

Living here, I see American culture from another perspective. I see the obsession with consumerism and workaholism. I see how Americans take for granted this one precious life and don't stop to enjoy it. I see the over-the-top decadence. The on-demand culture.

That's not to say Italy is perfect. But still. Sometimes you have to step away to really see something clearly.

And Yet...Here, I'm l'Americana

Now that more people know me here, I get a lot fewer of those questions I got at the start:

What brings you to Italy? To Calabria? Are you Italian? You came here BY YOURSELF???

People in Davoli just accept me as l'Americana or Francesco's wife. I'm accepted and embraced. Yet...there's so much I'll never have a handle on. People make references about a song or movie from decades past that everyone (but me) knows, and I can't participate in the conversation. They start speaking dialect at the speed of light, and I can't keep up.

I'm developing roots here, but they will always be shallow ones.

And Yet, There's Beauty in the In-Between

I always ended my surmisings on this topic of being an American in Italy feeling forlorn. But lately, I've come to see how unique this makes me.

For a long time, I wanted nothing more than to blend in. To not draw attention to myself as a foreigner. But obvs, that is impossible, and I've started embracing it.

Here's an example.

Somehow, after making tacos just twice, I have become known for this "American" dish (they don't care that it's Mexican. I'm American and I make tacos, therefore they're American to Italians!). So now I'm planning multiple taco nights for friends.

I'm venturing out and sharing other types of cuisine with Fra's family. Since my family is Cajun, I made jambalaya the other night, and it was a hit. I feel honored that I can share bits of myself, and relieved that there's no need to hide them.

Being an American in Italy means I have a lot of interesting conversations with people about the differences in our cultures. (Far too many discussions about politics for my taste, but still).

People in Calabria love how thirsty I am to learn about their culture and traditions. Fra and his cousins are decidedly blah about things like making sausage and wine, but my enthusiasm (and solid work ethic) make me a hit with his family!

I am who I am. I have roots in America and my heart in Italy. That makes me special, and I will cherish that fact rather than lament it.