"I Heard it Through the Grapevine:" Life in a Small Italian Town

I knew that small-town life would be vastly different from my life in San Diego, but even after nearly a year in Davoli, it sometimes takes me by surprise.

Especially considering the fact that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knows my business!

Gossip: Analog Social Media

Let's start with the grapevine. Whenever someone hears some tidbit of news, they pass it on. At first, it made me uncomfortable to be talking about other people, but now I find myself doing it.

It's gossip that comes from love, not malice, though. When Vittoria the esthetician comes to wax Mama's and my lips, we chatter about the American who bought the house that belonged to Marta's father. We speculate about whether he/she plans to live here all year.

They update one another on who's died, how long they were sick, and when the funeral will be.

Sometimes, if I know the situation, I participate in the conversation. If I have that typical dumb look of not understanding on my face that I so often do, Mama tries to explain who they're talking about, which inevitably involves a complex oral family tree of how that person, naturally, is a distant cousin of ours.

It occurs to me that this gossip/updating is no different than social media. Only it's done face-to-face, which is remarkably refreshing.

Everyone in My Business

Let's get back to me. I tend to be private about certain things. When I had my cyst removed, I told a few friends and kept it to myself. It was no one's business.

But no sooner had I come back from Rome than neighbors and people I really didn't know well began asking me with THAT look on their face: "Come staiiii?" You know that look. They ask you how you are, but what they mean is: how did that surgery go? Because yes, I know allllll about it.

Honestly, it made me uncomfortable to know that an entire village knew I was one ovary short. It felt private. If I wanted to share the news with someone, I would. And I did share it with a few people who were polite enough to pretend they didn't already know!

One evening, we were in Bar Giuliano and our friend, the electrician, gave me the look and asked how I was.

I exploded. "How the |!#%##% does everyone know?? Who told you??"

He uncomfortably shifted his glance to Fra.

Oh. My own husband is the rumor monger. Ha.

Suffice it to say that after a conversation, Fra knows not to share my business with others without my permission! Life in a small Italian town simply means I'm going to have to be more open with my life!