My Cure for Empty-Nest Syndrome? Move to Italy!

Five years ago, I, like so many parents, faced the daunting prospect of an empty nest. My son, Max, was finishing high school, and I began to consider what my life would be like once he flew away.

At the time, I was divorced and living in San Diego. I had a wonderful group of friends, but I didn't feel rooted in my life.

I realized that this was an incredible opportunity for me to decide what came next for ME.

The Downsides of Empty-Nest Syndrome

I was well aware that losing that sense of duty that comes with being a mother day in and day out might unhinge me. I couldn't imagine Max not being there. Not needing to stock up on meat and rice every few days, since the boy consumed them at the pace of a thoroughbred. Not washing his clothes or gritting my teeth as he rolled his eyes when I asked how his day was. Not seeing my son every day.

I knew that empty-nest syndrome can cause a whole slew of problems like depression, loneliness, and feelings of meaninglessness. I wanted to be proactive in avoiding the dark mire.

So I began to ask myself who I wanted to be (and where I wanted to be) once that role of Mama took a back seat.

The answer?

Italy!

The Reinvention of Self

While initially, my goal was to simply distract myself from the pain of shifting out of a full-time mama role, in the long-term, I gave myself an incredible gift.

I allowed myself to see value in who I was outside of being a mother, and to invest in my future. So here I am, three years later, living and loving in Italy.

Max's and my relationship is the best it's ever been. As he becomes an adult (a process that, to be honest, we never really finish!), he's opening up to me in ways he never did when we lived together. We cherish our time together when he visits, or I go to Florida.

But being a mother, that's just part of who I am. Many Italians don't even realize I have a grown child back in the States. They just know me as Su, l'Americana. The one who talks with an accent and makes herbal skincare products. The girl who holds Aperitivo in English events when she feels like it. Francesco's wife. A foreigner who fully embraces the local culture and traditions.

So while I had to let go of being little Max's guardian, the experience opened up a whole second chapter for me. I'm grateful every single day that I chose to take this brave step.

What About You? Are You Ready?

If this article resonated with you, I'm guessing you might be facing a similar transition. Maybe you're dreaming of moving to Italy, like I did. My advice to you? Understand that your child flying the nest isn't a travesty. It's the natural order of things. Just like your relationship with your child changed from when he was a baby to toddler to boy to teen, it will evolve once he's gone.

You are more than a mother. Give yourself the space to discover all the things you are...or will be. And Italy is a fine place to find yourself!