As a spiritual practitioner, I should know better than to expect things to go a certain way. In theory, I'm all about going with the flow.
In practice, however, it turns out I'm nothing more than The Fool.
I moved to southern Italy a couple of weeks ago. Yep. Fact. And while I knew I'd be starting over, the reality of what it would be like couldn't have really hit me until I moved here.
If you follow Tarot, I'm currently The Fool card.
While you might take The Fool to be an imbecile, she is simply someone starting (or restarting) a journey. Everything is new. It's exciting...but also daunting and scary at times.
Sometimes, though, she is a bit of an idiot!
In my first week here, I:
Locked myself out of my house and had to ask the neighbors for help...wearing only my bikini
Tripped the fuse on the house twice and had to ask the same neighbors for help (this time dressed)
Made countless gaffs in Italian
The list goes on, but I'll save my dignity by stopping here
The Fool is Vulnerable
While I'd assumed the language would be the thing that would put me over the edge, it wasn't. In fact, I've done fantastic in speaking Italian and generally being somewhat understood.
What made me have a meltdown a few days ago was having to be vulnerable. Having to ask for help.
I don't do vulnerable well. And yet, there I was, asking complete strangers for help. My neighbor even climbed the roof to see if my upstairs window was open.
I don't have a car yet, so going anywhere beyond a 20-minute walk necessitates asking one of my new friends to take me. I hate that.
And yet I have to remind myself that The Fool must be vulnerable. She must rely on the kindness of strangers on her journey if she is to survive.
I'm working through that lesson.
Being the Fool is Humbling
As a fairly intelligent, accomplished single woman, it's been incredibly humbling to start at square one. But I know there are lessons for me in this journey, and that I must start out as The Fool if I hope to get anywhere.
What about you? Where have you been The Fool in your life? Maybe in starting a business or in a new relationship? How did it make you feel? Did you rail against it the way I have?
I hope to share more of my Italian adventure as it parallels the Tarot over the coming months. Stay tuned.