Welcome to Calabrian CrossFit

So you're looking to burn off some of those pasta and pizza calories, hmm? You're looking for a great workout that will be fun, too?

Have I got the workout for you!

Let me present Calabrian CrossFit! You'll spend time outdoors, get to know Calabrian traditions, and your muscles will cry.

The best part?

It's absolutely free!

Let's Start Off Easy

It's chestnut season, so we'll warm up with some castagne squats. Grab a bucket, put on some gloves that will prevent the little buggers from pricking you, and let's get started.

When you see a ricci that looks good, bend slowly into a squat. Use your legs, not your back! And while you're down, look around for other chestnuts to collect. Hold the position as long as you can or until you run out of reachable nuts.

Bonus: if you collect castagne on a hill, prop one leg up on a wobbly tree root and maintain your balance while collecting as many as you can.

Time to Work Those Arms!

Now that you've cleared the forest of castagne, I'm sure you're feeling those glutes! Take a hot bath, sleep well, and prepare: tomorrow we're picking olives!

Sounds easy, right? Wait until you've had your arms overhead and have precariously balanced on a tree branch for hours on end. Stretch and reach for every last olive, and I don't want to hear you cry!

Okay, I'll give you a break. You can alternate picking olives from the branches with squatting and collecting those on the ground. Follow the same instructions as with the chestnuts.

Think It's Off Season? Think Again

While winter means a break from the harvest, we're going to keep working on legs. Want to visit your mother-in-law? Good. She lives at the top of a steep hill. Even going to the pharmacy requires walking up a deceptively steep incline.

Make it fun and count all the steps on your way. The more steps, the more muscle!

It's January. Let's Warm Up Those Arms!

Post-holidays, it's time to get back to our Calabrian CrossFit routine. It's time to process the pig, so you can work those arm muscles by turning the meat grinder for hours while the other ladies take it easy and simply tie the sausage.

Bonus: You can always help your father-in-law carry wood from his Apocalypse-worthy stock for a full-body workout.

Your Spring Fling Workout

As it warms up, add some variety to your stair-climbing in town. You can take walks in the mountains, and before long, you'll be amazed at how strong you've become.

Easter's coming, and in Davoli, that means Naca. In Calabrian CrossFit, we don't throw around tires without a reason, but you can drag a tree or two through the woods. Don't worry; lunch and ample wine will be provided for this excursion.

Time for a Summer Dip

This workout is anything but boring, and as soon as it hits 75 degrees out, unearth your swimsuit and get ye to the beach. You've got a good three to five months of swim time ahead of you, so make the most of it.

Don't do what Italians do, which is stand around in the water talking. You, my friend, are here to swim laps, whatever that looks like in the open water.

The Winemaking Circuit

Take a break from the beach to work out your arms and contribute to next year's wine, which you can enjoy after all this hard work.

Some use more modern machinery, but you are a beast, and you prefer to press the grapes by hand, pushing and pulling a lever until your muscles groan with pain. Remember: no pain, no wine!

And that concludes your year of Calabrian CrossFit. I hope you'll leave us a five-star review on Google!