Finding Joy in the Slowness: Embracing the Dolce Vita

The longer I live in Calabria, the more I'm able to let go of my American expectations of wanting things done NOW. Though, perhaps I will never completely let that tic go...

I find that the more I release my expectations about how things should go, the more magic I welcome in.

Here are a few moments of la dolce vita that I treasure as an expat in Italy.

1. Un Caffè

Even if it takes mere seconds to throw back an espresso, the act of being invited to coffee (and accepting) is significant.

Vuoi un caffè (do you want a coffee) is an invitation to sit. To pause from whatever you were doing to catch up.

Whether I'm invited by one of the little old ladies who lives nearby or whether Mamma puts on the Moka as soon as I show up, I'm learning to treat it as a reminder to breathe. All the chores and work I have on my mind can wait.

And so we gossip about what's going on in town. Who died. Whose grandchildren are here for the summer. What we're cooking for dinner.

We laugh. We share. We connect. And then we go on with our day.

2. A Morning by the Sea

Though I've been going to the beach weekly since early June, my in-laws just started their daily ritual of taking our nephew to Davoli Marina for a couple of hours each morning.

Again, my American mentality tells me that I should be working. But as the Italian attitude takes over, I reason that I can catch up on work in the afternoon. After all, it's a gorgeous day, and the sea is like glass.

And so we descend from our mountain. We shuck off our clothes and approach the sea. We each have our own ritual. Mine is to wade in quickly and get to swimming. Mamma takes her time, gradually going deeper as she gets accustomed to the cold water.

Though we spend just two or three hours there, it feels like we've had a mini vacation.

3. Evenings on the Balcony

Fra and I recently reconfigured our upper balcony so that we could fit chairs and a table. We added string lights and plants, and now it's our outdoor living room.

We'll enjoy a spritz as the sun sets, or we'll invite his brother and cousin over for an amaro after dinner. The space is tiny for a crowd, but I'm learning that Italians don't mind being cramped together. The more, the merrier!

4. A Rainy Day

As I look out the window of my office, I see it's raining. I'm happy; a summer storm clears and cools the air, and it's been hot.

I love nothing more than leaving the windows open a crack to feel the damp breeze and curling up on the couch with a book. Which I plan to do after I write this post!

5. An Aperitivo with Friends

We're at the start of what I call our busy season: in summer, friends and family descend on Calabria, and our calendars fill up with aperitivi and dinners. Just this week, I've gone out three times!

It's wonderful to a) not have to cook and b) unwind with friends we haven't seen in a while.

This is why I moved to Italy nearly four years ago. I wanted to enjoy the slowdown that Italians have mastered.