Going Through Menopause in Italy

Men, feel free to skip this post. It's not for you!

I have reached that inevitable age of menopause, and living in another country to boot. I obviously don't have experience going through this in the U.S. to compare it to, but I wanted to share some thoughts about my experience here going through menopause in Italy.

First, My Story

I remember being at the Fiumicino Airport the year before I moved to Italy. I was rushing to make my flight, but not overly exerting myself. I broke out in a sweat that was overkill.

Huh, I thought, then boarded the plane.

After that, hot flashes stayed with me in the summer months, mainly at night. At first, they were cumbersome. Cute, even. But by Summer 2, I had spent €150 on a turbo fan to cool me, as well as a blanket that promised to reduce the sweating (it didn't), and various and sundry cooling products.

By Summer 3, the hot flashes overstayed their welcome and accompanied me throughout the year. This summer, #4, I let them know in no uncertain terms that they were not welcome.

It's tough here, because everywhere isn't hermetically sealed, 65 degrees, 24 hours a day like in America. I have to leave the house and walk places, which means I essentially melt like a popsicle before I've even left the shadow of my house.

I carry foldable paper fans with me everywhere. I have amassed quite a collection.

I even spent over $200 to buy this device I wear on my wrist that tells my brain I'm cool, and therefore nips the flash in the bud. BEST INVESTMENT EVER. It also has a warming setting, and though I couldn't believe I'd ever want to be warm, there were winter days when it was lovely.

But it didn't prevent me from having hot flashes.

Over the last year, I've noticed I've been crankier. Was it just because I'd settled into my relationship and had now turned into the Nagging Wife? Everything Fra did irritated me, and I recognized that this wasn't normal (or is it??).

The Presence of Natural Solutions

One thing I noted early on after moving here was the fact that there are so many natural health products available, not just in fancy health food stores, but also at the pharmacy and supermarket.

Every doctor I've visited has first opted to "prescribe" me a natural supplement rather than pharmaceuticals, and that's something I appreciate.

This applies to menopause as well.

At the start of my menopausal journey four years ago, I didn't want to dive right into taking hormones if I didn't need to. And so I began a deep dive into herbal remedies when my symptoms began.

I tried sage. Black cohosh. Soy. Mixes of all the herbs. I tried Chinese herbs that gave me diarrhea and did nothing to solve the problem. Some herbs would work for a short time, but before long, those damn heatquakes returned.

My gynecologist never pushed hormones on me (until I was ready). She was well-versed in all the herbal remedies and would suggest new ones when I got frustrated with the ones that didn't work.

The Menopause Community (or Lack Thereof)

This is really hard to quantify because going through menopause is so personal. I don't know anyone my age going through it, though I have talked to a few women who are on the other side of it (my heroes).

My mother-in-law and her sister say they didn't have any symptoms when they went through menopause. I can't believe that, but at the time, it wasn't common to discuss "female problems," so who knows what they experienced.

I've found my own support through books and Instagram. My feed is now full of tips and memes about menopause, which, surprisingly, helps me feel connected to others who get it. I've also learned a lot of tricks and found out about symptoms I didn't know were related (i.e., frozen shoulder).

Finding the Right Gyno

I'm fortunate that I chose my gyno well. My gynecologist is up-to-date on the latest menopause news and fully supports my intention to go as natural as possible.

That being said, I did reach a (pardon the pun) boiling point when I decided to start taking bioidentical hormones. The product I take is a spray called Lenzetto.

It completely stopped the hot flashes in a few weeks, and my mood has improved as well (Fra is grateful for that).

I wish I'd found an herbal solution that worked, but I'm not beating myself up about it.

Experiencing menopause as an expat in Italy has been yet another lesson for me. Learning to advocate for my health (in Italian) and researching solutions here has upped my expat skills.