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Rebecoming Yourself After Divorce

Since I moved to Italy, I've met so many women who are "rebecoming" themselves after a divorce or the end of a significant relationship.

What do I mean by "rebecoming?"

Let me explain with my own example.

When a Relationship Carves Our Path

In my marriage, I didn't feel I had space to become who I was supposed to become. We started dating when I was 21 and he was 22. This is such a formative period for us to become who we're going to be, and being in a relationship can definitely direct that becoming.

It certainly did for me. We both had big personalities. Liked being the center of attention and steering the boat in a relationship. But when you have two dominant personalities, one loses out. That was me.

I found myself giving in to the decisions he made for us. Stepping out of the light and pulling away from the things that lit me up. Instead, I focused on being a good wife and mother. While there's nothing wrong with that, I felt dull inside. Like something was missing.

When we let things block us from becoming who we are supposed to be... partners, kids, jobs we hate...we unbecome ourselves. We miss out on an opportunity for growth and exploration of our authenticity.

Finding a New Path After Divorce

I lost out on 17 years of potential because I allowed this to happen. Many of us do. But now I wonder...where would I be on my spiritual path if I had spread my wings? What would be different in my life if I'd insisted on putting myself first?

Instead, I put myself in a small box so that the man I loved could take center stage. Many times I realized I was the wind beneath his wings...but who was mine?

It still hurts that I limited myself all those years, but I try not to have regrets. The experiences I had led me to who I am today.

And part of who I am today is an intuitive expat coach who helps women who, like me, find themselves with a new path in front of them. One ripe with possibilities. Maybe even the possibility of moving abroad.

I want to keep women from limiting themselves. From coloring in the lines just to feel they're making the safe choice. I want them to live, love, and operate from a place of authenticity.

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1 Comment

Great article!😍

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